LOOKING FOR A WOMAN

As I wrote in How I Met the Jungle Princess, I came to Bangkok looking for the life partner I couldn’t find in the US. I had also taken a cruise and looked through parts of Mexico. That might make an interesting article another time.

What I didn’t mention was Dow, The Jungle Princess, wasn’t my first choice in coming to Bangkok.

I have to go back to the beginning.

I had good feelings from the moment I got on the plane. Speaking frankly, good feelings meant not only a positive attitude but an actual excitement in certain erogenous zones. (That’s what you call speaking frankly?) (Hang on. It gets better, or worse, depending on your political party.)

My flight was routed through Tokyo. On landing in Bangkok, I met a Japanese lady who had boarded the plane in Tokyo. She seemed perfect for me. She was 50ish, well dressed, intelligent looking, and her face had been molded by a lifetime of happy thoughts. Most important, she seemed as interested in me as I in her.

I’m talkin’ mutual attraction here. We were practically dry-humping each other in the terminal. (Okay. That’s better. So what happened?)

A lot of stuff interfered.

I was exhausted from more than 20 hours en route. She spoke practically no English. I did learn she was in Bangkok for only 3 days. I couldn’t quite make out what hotel she was staying at. And she had a lady friend with her.

In retrospect, all of that could have been overcome except that I was exhausted. That trumped everything.

Then, two days later I met The Jungle Princess, another lady with a face molded by happy thoughts.

We have been together ever since and I have had a perpetual erection ever since. (Great! That’s what I was waiting for!) (That was for you. I only wish.)

So what was the difference that made it so easy to find a woman here when I struck out elsewhere?

The women here are open. If they are interested in you, they do not hide it.

I have no bullshit line whatever. I am totally unskilled at small talk. I need to know a woman is interested in me before I can approach her. And if the ladies here are interested, there is no mistaking it.

That is the difference.