WAS JESUS AGAINST BUSH?
Catherine Seipp wrote in the LA Times yesterday about a minister in Pasadena, the Reverend George Regas, encouraging his flock to vote for Senator Kerry in the last election.
During his sermon, the Reverend George Regas strongly intimated that Jesus Christ was solidly in the Kerry Korner. In fact the Reverend George Regas quoted Christ extensively on the subject. Yes, that’s right, he quoted Christ.
While Christ, according to the Reverend George Regas, did not directly support Kerry, he (Christ) was so critical of President Bush as to leave no doubt where he stood.
You can read the quotes as well as the entire article *here.*
Well, Jesus and I happened to be good buddies back in the old days. We hung together quite a bit. I decided to give him a call. He picked up right away. No secretary or anything. He was that kind of a guy.
“Jesus, baby. How they hangin’?”
“Valt, bubala.” He always spoke with a Yiddish accent. “Long time, no see. What you been up to?”
“Oh, this and that. I’m blogging now.”
“Blogging? What the **** is that?” I can’t tell you what he really said. We have an agreement.
“It’s a kind of writing. So how are you doing?”
“I’m comfortable, thank Father. I’ve got a place to sleep, three squares, but you know the best thing?”
“What’s that?”
“I don’t have to wear those **** sandals any more. I used to get such blisters on my big toe you wouldn’t believe.”
“You sound kinda like a hillbilly. So how did it feel in your first pair of shoes?”
“You puttin’ me down? You better not put me down. You know who my father is?”
“No man, I’m just bustin’ your balls a little.”
“Oh, okay. Anyway, I skipped shoes, went straight to slippers. There’s not much walking to do up here. I play a little bocci ball, shoot a little pool, play some gin, that’s about it. I can never beat my father at gin. I think he cheats.”
“The reason I called, there’s this guy in Pasadena who claimed you were talking to him before the last election.”
“I talk to a lot of people. I’m talking to people all the time. Sometimes they listen.”
That reminded me of something else. “Do you ever talk to Pat Robertson? He claims you do.”
“Pat Robertson!” He sounded really agitated. “Don’t mention his name to me. If I came back to earth again, he’d be trying to crucify me. Did you hear what they did to me the last time?”
“Yeah. I heard something about it.”
“It was guys like Robertson that did it. He’d be there hammering in the nails.”
“Oh. Anyway, there’s this guy in Pasadena claims you were against Bush in the election.”
“Oh yeah, I remember that. Yeah, that’s right. I was against Bush. That’s what I told him.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, what’s wrong with that?”
“Well, he says you had a long conversation with him about all the things that were wrong with Bush.”
“Nah. I never did that. I only told him that THE MUNSTER’S was my favorite TV show. I could never vote against Herman Munster.”
During his sermon, the Reverend George Regas strongly intimated that Jesus Christ was solidly in the Kerry Korner. In fact the Reverend George Regas quoted Christ extensively on the subject. Yes, that’s right, he quoted Christ.
While Christ, according to the Reverend George Regas, did not directly support Kerry, he (Christ) was so critical of President Bush as to leave no doubt where he stood.
You can read the quotes as well as the entire article *here.*
Well, Jesus and I happened to be good buddies back in the old days. We hung together quite a bit. I decided to give him a call. He picked up right away. No secretary or anything. He was that kind of a guy.
“Jesus, baby. How they hangin’?”
“Valt, bubala.” He always spoke with a Yiddish accent. “Long time, no see. What you been up to?”
“Oh, this and that. I’m blogging now.”
“Blogging? What the **** is that?” I can’t tell you what he really said. We have an agreement.
“It’s a kind of writing. So how are you doing?”
“I’m comfortable, thank Father. I’ve got a place to sleep, three squares, but you know the best thing?”
“What’s that?”
“I don’t have to wear those **** sandals any more. I used to get such blisters on my big toe you wouldn’t believe.”
“You sound kinda like a hillbilly. So how did it feel in your first pair of shoes?”
“You puttin’ me down? You better not put me down. You know who my father is?”
“No man, I’m just bustin’ your balls a little.”
“Oh, okay. Anyway, I skipped shoes, went straight to slippers. There’s not much walking to do up here. I play a little bocci ball, shoot a little pool, play some gin, that’s about it. I can never beat my father at gin. I think he cheats.”
“The reason I called, there’s this guy in Pasadena who claimed you were talking to him before the last election.”
“I talk to a lot of people. I’m talking to people all the time. Sometimes they listen.”
That reminded me of something else. “Do you ever talk to Pat Robertson? He claims you do.”
“Pat Robertson!” He sounded really agitated. “Don’t mention his name to me. If I came back to earth again, he’d be trying to crucify me. Did you hear what they did to me the last time?”
“Yeah. I heard something about it.”
“It was guys like Robertson that did it. He’d be there hammering in the nails.”
“Oh. Anyway, there’s this guy in Pasadena claims you were against Bush in the election.”
“Oh yeah, I remember that. Yeah, that’s right. I was against Bush. That’s what I told him.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, what’s wrong with that?”
“Well, he says you had a long conversation with him about all the things that were wrong with Bush.”
“Nah. I never did that. I only told him that THE MUNSTER’S was my favorite TV show. I could never vote against Herman Munster.”
posted by Walter Guest at 7:06 PM
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