WOODY AND ME

Again I am struck by the incredible similarities in the careers of Woody Allen and myself.

(Similarities? Name one.)

It’s as if we were twins, separated at birth, but then go on to lead identical lives.

(Are you nuts? What the hell have you done that would be remotely identical to what Woody Allen has done?)

Like he has that 34-year-old Asian wife who is 35 years younger than him.

(Yeah? So?)

I’ve got a 38-year-old Asian wife who is 36 tears younger than me. That’s pretty amazing, isn’t it?

(That’s pretty boring.)

Here’s what Woody says in a recent interview:

Of his marriage to Soon-Yi Previn, now 34, the Oscar-winning filmmaker said his relationship with her had taken on a "more paternal feeling" in recent years.

*Here* is the entire article.

So now he says he feels ‘paternal’ towards her. That’s interesting. I guess that means she doesn’t interest him sexually anymore. He feels like a father to her.

Too bad he didn’t feel like a father towards her 18 years ago when he was her father and was taking nude pictures of her.

Bad timing.

I guess she’s too old for him now. Those Korean women, I’ve heard, age fast.

That’s too bad.

I guess there was no way she could keep a hunk like Woody interested.

So now he’ll have to look for another 16-year-old that he won’t have paternal feelings for.

Me?

I plan on keeping my Thai lady another 10 years and then I’ll reevaluate.

Let’s see, I’ll only be 84 then. I’ll still be a hunk.

Won’t I?

(Sure you will.)