Sunday, July 08, 2007

(PICTURE: This is a husband seeker but not the one in the story below. Sorry about that. I tried.)


The original title of this piece was going to be “A Generic Woman” but then I got into it and came up with a better title.

Some people over here in Thailand think I have a pipeline to American men looking for Asian wives. I get pictures sometimes that I post on the internet, but I have no connections and not much interest in the subject.

A friend of my wife visited us dragging a husband seeker along. This friend was pretty interesting. She was a Vietnamese living in Laos married to a Chinese and she spoke passable English along with 4 other languages. As someone who has trouble with one language, I am in awe of multilingual people. So she had my attention and respect.

The Husband Seeker, she explained was 30ish, never married and wanted a man who was not too ugly and no more than 50ish.

“How about someone like me?” I asked. “Someone older but rich?” (See, I can make jokes. Who said I can’t make jokes?)

The Husband Seeker dodged the question by saying he did not need to be rich, so I gathered old was out.

But the Husband Seeker was serious so I gave her a serious evaluation. A makeover would do wonders for her. She was plain by Thai standards. She had Angelina Jolie lips and a little fix-up would make her quite pretty by American standards. I told them this except for the plain part.

But her best asset, I told them, was her figure. She was tallish, slim and had an attractive body. “Let me take her picture in a swim suit,” I proposed. “I will put it on the internet.”

Well sir, you would have thought I said, “Let her suck my you-know-what.” The VN-Laos chick got all uppity and offended. She explained to the Husband Seeker what I had said (though I’m sure there was something added or lost in the translation) so that the HS was totally pissed with me too. I was told they were not interested in men who would want to see her body. How much of the male gender does that eliminate?

Of course I knew exactly what was going on. I had witnessed it many times in Vietnam and America (but thankfully never in Thailand until now). She was faking outrage at one thing because something else was bothering her. What was it? Probably envy. I suspect my entire setup there where I lived in my house bothered her. I think the bitch saw it and didn’t like it and wanted my wife to think there was something wrong with me. She was trying to sow discord.

I could be wrong but I can’t think of another reason for that fake moral outrage. You guys be warned, if you ever see it, get the hall out of there. Dump the bitch. She is trouble.

Anyway, back to the Husband Seeker. She is a generic woman which might be great for someone out there. She is shy, diffident, and I’m sure, obedient. Along with the previous physical description, she might be the perfect woman for a large percentage of the men out there.

One caution: You probably couldn’t bring her to the States for fear she will learn that fake moral outrage trick, not to mention having her “rights” explained to her.


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