DIRTY TRICKS

I’m going to write 2 or 3 things on practical jokes. If my reader has any examples please feel free to put them in the comments.

I really don’t like practical jokes. Okay, short-sheeting a guy in the barracks was funny now and then but not too often.

Here’s a trick I did that wasn’t very dirty. There was a guy in our barrack who liked to kibitz when I played solitaire on my bunk. He would hang over my game and point out every play before I had a chance to look. I completed the game and told him, “You won that game.” He walked off proudly, completely missing the sarcasm.

Next time he came by I cheated by getting a card from the bottom of the deck.

“You can’t do that,” he protested.

“Sure I can,” I said.

“That’s against the rules.”

“No it’s not. That’s the game I play.’

“But it’s cheating.”

“No in the game I play. It’s different. You’re allowed one wild card. That was my wild card.”

That stopped him for a moment while he stared at me, thinking about it. Then he exploded. “That’s bullshit!” He walked up and down the bay, exposing me. “He’s cheating,” he told everyone who would listen. I thought he might call the cops.

He looked at me differently after that. It was a sad look he gave me with a sort of slow head shake, as if I had disappointed him greatly.

On my part, I wondered why anyone would want to appoint themselves The Commissioner of Solitaire.