Monday, July 02, 2007


I may have done worse dirty tricks but this one was both mean and hilarious and, in part, unintentional.

I had to take a bonehead English class when going back into the school system at San Francisco City College (OJ’s old school). The students were almost all male. We had failed the Basic English exam required for entrance to the school. The instructor was a lady close to my own age. She was the best teacher I had at any level of schooling. A couple of weeks into the course, she explained how to structure an essay. I absorbed every word.

We were given an assignment to comment on a Russian short story. Using her rules, I wrote a nearly perfect criticism of the story, using brief quotes to prove my points. The piece had a strong beginning and a good summing up. But, scamp that I am, I put a bomb in the middle for her eyes only, never expecting she would read it in class.

She read it in class. When she started I hunkered down and closed my eyes. This was a sweet lady who was reading to a bunch of bonehead males. It is not for nothing they call the course Bonehead English.

Near the middle of the piece she read, “…there is this intercourse between the couple.”

Now I could have used “exchange” or “communication” or other words, but I deliberately used that word to shock or titillate her and to show I knew the alternate meanings.

Well the bomb exploded. To my surprise, it only caught one guy. A goofball at the back lets out a loud guffaw before he realizes he is the only one and he has really, totally screwed up

The teacher gives him a cold stare.

That is one for the ages. Sure, I may have screwed up one guy’s life, but think how happy I made the other 25 boneheads in the class because they didn’t laugh with him.


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