THINGS THAT DON’T PISS ME OFF YET

(Note: As usual I'm having a hell of a time navigating through all of this entry stuff which is all in Thai that I don't understand. That's why I can't post the picture I had set up of this essay. maybe later.)

(PICTURE: JOE TORRE. One of the funniest stories I’ve ever heard: A ball player went out on a blind date. He was trying to explain that his date wasn’t very good looking. His friend asks, “What did she look like?” The first guy replies, “Picture Joe Torre in a dress.”)

I’ve got to write something positive so here goes. Everything in the world fits into two categories: Things that piss me off and things that don’t piss me off yet. This is some stuff from the latter.

Rudy La Russo, the long time manager of the Cardinals, for instance. Some years ago half his team went down with injuries. So what does he say about it? He says, ‘This is a great opportunity to see what the players look like that we’ve got coming up,” or words to that effect. Now that’s a guy with character.

Then there’s Joe Torre, the Yankee manager. This is a guy who is admired by almost everyone who’s come in contact with him. People say he’s a poor handler of pitchers, especially relief pitchers, but look how long his pitcher’s careers last. If he’s so hard on pitchers, how come so many are still around?

Mike Scioscia, the manager of the Angels, may not have a clue about on base percentage or the value of a stolen base but he may be the best handler of pitchers around.

And then there’s Billy Beane, the Oakland General Manager. Who could help rooting for him? The way he rebuilt his outfield after injuries took most of them is incredible. He deserves Executive of the Year based on that alone. The wild thing is, he may have improved it. But whether or not, that was amazing. I’m glad he’s a part owner of the team so no one will grab him away. (After I wrote this, Oakland had to play Scutaro, a weak hitting infielder, in right field because 4 outfielders are sitting out with some sort of injuries in addition to all the others on the disabled list.)

Of course Bill James will never piss me off even when I think he’s wrong. I wonder if they’ll ever have a sabrematician section in baseball’s hall of fame. They should have and of course the first enshrined will be Bill James.

And speaking of the Hall of Fame, Lefty O’Doul should be in there. Not because he was one of the premier hitters in the National League from ’28 to ’34, winning two batting titles, but because he was the guy who introduced baseball to Japan.

This is just the baseball section of things that don’t piss me off yet.

A FUN TEAM

(MAP: Tampa Bay. Just because I like maps.)

Tampa Bay beat the Yankees 10-8 today. They will play a lot games like that, losing most of them. But the starting eight players in the field are nearly as good as any in the game. If you consider cost (salaries), they are by far the best in the game. I wouldn’t trade them for any eight. Their pitching will keep games close but that’s the fun of it.

It’s early in the season but, what the hell. Here are some developments. Ben Zobrist, their shortstop, was hitting .167 in 56 plate appearances including two sacrifices. He had drawn NO walks. That gave him an OBP (on base percentage) of .161. Have you ever seen an OBP lower than a batting average? That is quite a feat. He was batting second in their lineup. Can you say, “Automatic out?”

He has been replaced by Brendan Harris. After going 2 for 4 today, Harris is hitting .364 in 33 at bats. Right, it’s early in the season and can he play shortstop? If he can hit like that he can play SS for me. That will part of the fun watching them.

Assuming Harris is the real thing, that gives the Devil Rays the most solid lineup in majors. The rookie center fielder, Elijah Dukes is struggling somewhat and Ty Wigginton I doubt will ever hit enough to be more than adequate at first base, and the catcher is not yet hitting up to par, but any manager would be more than happy to have those be his most serious problems. Several of the others are potential super-stars.

It will be a fun team to watch.

THE TEAM LEADER

When I was a kid we had a “team leader” on our football team. He was the guy who out-hustled and out-yelled everyone else. He was always encouraging everyone. He was pretty much an assistant coach. They made him team captain.

But on the other side of the coin, he was one of the dumbest football players I’d ever seen. He just didn’t have a feeling for the game. He’d knock aside our tacklers to get at the runner, allowing the runner to get away. I once saw him, when a runner was held up on our goal line, hit him from behind and push him over the goal. He once lined up alongside me as a wide receiver. Our instructions were just to go down the field and catch a desperation pass. We started down the field. I cut and he cut with me. I cut the other way and he went right with me. He was on me like a defensive back. It only took one defender to cover two receivers instead of the other way around. At the end of the unsuccessful play, the defensive backs laughed at us.

The point is, the guy who yells the loudest and hustles the most might be a few beans short of a full burrito.

Which brings me to Darren Erstad. He was acknowledged as the Angel team leader for years. But after an incredible, historic 2000 season, he became pretty much a minus for them. The reason was he never mastered the strike zone. That is something that smart players, team players, do.

The best example is Brett Butler. He was a player with similar skills to Erstad. When Butler broke in I didn’t think he had a chance with his low ‘on base percentage.’ But Butler worked at it and learned the strike zone and made himself valuable to every team he was on. Another great example is Ozzie Smith, now in the Hall of Fame.

Erstad defenders say his performance fell off because he hurt himself after the 2000 season with his all-out, hustling style of play.

OK. Take that to a doctor. 99 out of a hundred doctors will advise, “Don’t do that.” A guy with all the beans in his burrito wouldn’t do that.

And while I’m on the subject, I wonder how Erstad’s philosophy of hacking away at anything near the plate influenced the Angel teams over the years. They have been notorious as a hacker’s team, eschewing the walk. Can we lay any of that at Erstad’s, the team leader’s, door?

If so, his dynasty continues.