Wednesday, October 03, 2007

WINNING THE WAR



I’ve written about the Bier Garten in downtown Bangkok before without identifying it by name. That is the big, barnlike joint that is my favorite hangout/office where most of this stuff is written. It’s my kind of place, lots of hookers, no pimps, and a bunch of old farangs hanging around. It’s one of the few places in town in which I can be inconspicuous. It’s also one of the noisiest joints in town.

One time, on the way back from the can, I passed behind this cute chick trying to enchant an older guy (what else?) at one of the many bars. As I passed behind them, I let out a huge fart, drowned out by the noise, and kept on quickly. My only reward? She skewed up her noise and gave the old guy a disgusted look.

That was enough reward for me in my little life. At the time, with more than a couple of beers in me, I thought it might have been the funniest thing I’d ever done.

On reflection, I still think so. Am I pathetic or not?

But think about it, if we can’t do jokes involving farts, the terrorists have won. I am just doing my share to win the war.

On that subject, Thai women wrap the clothing around their butts as tightly as any I have ever seen. They almost wear armor around their breasts but they make sure every curve of their asses is on display. That’s the way I would have it if I had to choose.

The other day I was on an up escalator in the subway when I noticed some Muslim women just above me. They were wearing the Muslim headscarves but their asses were wrapped very tightly in silk, showing off every curve. That was a first. I had never seen a Muslim lady dressed like that before.

Maybe we’re winning.

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