Sunday, March 26, 2006


(Pre-correction: In looking for a picture I discover that this “guy” I’m writing about here has the name of Judith Chalmers. Well that changes everything…NOT.)

Many used to laugh at Sam Goldwyn. His malapropos exceed even those of Yogi Berra. There was a story that he took months to read a children’s book.

And yet Sam Goldwyn was a genuine Hollywood genius. He was the sole owner of a small studio. He seldom had more than one picture in production at a time. Many years he only brought out one film. He never had a film that fizzled at the box office, which was a good thing because it was his own money that had made it. A couple of fizzles and he would have been through.

He was good at finding talent. He found a Jewish comedian playing in the Catskills who looked promising. He brought Danny Kaye to Hollywood for screen tests which he showed to audiences for their reaction. The reaction was mixed, not a good sign.

Goldwyn didn’t give up. He tried some different things. Finally, he had Kaye’s hair died blonde. Bingo! The audience loved him. Danny Kaye starred in a series of big hits for Sam Goldwyn. Sam Goldwyn knew show business.

Here in Bangkok in 2006 we are being shown trailers on TV for a TV show that is on every week. The name of this series is Lost. The featured person in these trailers is one of the most unattractive people I have ever seen. It is a terminally gross fat man. (Hey, as Joan Rivers might say, don’t blame me, I didn’t hold him down and stuff cheeseburgers in his mouth.)

My first thought was: ‘People are missing? X-ray this guy’s belly.’

What the hell could they be thinking of, featuring this guy on a trailer? What the hell could they be thinking of even putting this guy in the cast? Is it some sort of political correct message they are sending? As Sam Goldwyn has said, “You want to send a message, use Western Union.”

Maybe they are trying to capture the terminally gross people audience. Good move. There may be a lot of them according to recent Gallup surveys. But the thought occurs to me, do we really want to see people like us? Is that show business? Doesn’t the mirror do that?

I never have and never will watch this show. Seeing this guy on the trailers depresses me. I anticipate him falling down and dying any minute. Why should I watch something that will depress me?

If I want to be depressed I can look at myself in a full length mirror with my clothes on. I can’t do it with my clothes off.


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