Tuesday, February 06, 2007


I knew I was in big trouble the moment I saw her come in the front door. She had been to her beauty shop. She had one of the wackiest hairdos I had ever seen.

She had a quizzical, unsure expression on her face. “What do you think?” she asked me.

I tried to give a confident smile and I nodded, nothing more. I was stalling in an effort to gather my thoughts.

“It’s the Little Orphan Annie hair style,” she said. “My hairdresser said it looks great. It’s the latest thing.”

This was back when there was a big stage play and movie, needless to say. If I saw someone else in that hair style, I might have pointed it out and laughed. But his was serious business. I had a tough decision to make.

She went to the mirror and touched her hair. “You don’t think it’s weird, do you?”

Do I tell her the truth and have her hate me for a few months or do I lie and have her lose all respect for my judgment? Why do women put you in these positions?

I did what any sensible man would do; I lied. “It looks fine, dear,” I told her.

She was frowning into the mirror. “Are you sure?” She turned to me. “You’d tell me if it didn’t look good, wouldn’t you?”

“Of course I would,” I lied. “It looks okay to me.”

She stared at me in that ‘lie detector’ way that women have. I tried to look innocent and charming, but not too charming. That would raise her suspicions. She finally turned away and I had passed the test.

Next day she came home really pissed. The hairdo had been washed out or whatever women do to get rid of a bad look. “Why didn’t you tell me I looked horrid?” she challenged me.

“Who said that?”

“The girls at work. They said it looked terrible. How could you let me go out looking like that?”

“Well, it looked okay to me. I thought you looked sexy in it.” See, now here’s a tip to all you men out there. Throw “looked sexy” into a conversation like that and it kinda deflects their aim a little. Women always try to look good to other women. Not sexy, just good. But if you throw a “looked sexy” into the mix, it gives you an excuse for not having the same opinion as her women friends.

“You think it looked sexy?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Men!” she dismissed the whole gender. “I should never have asked you. What do you know? All you ever think of is sex.”

She had me there, but I was off the hook. You have to make choices in marriage. Some aren’t easy.


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