LETTER TO WARREN BELL

Warren bell is a regular writer on National Review On Line. He is also a writer for the comedy show According to Jim. I have written to him occasionally. He has made the mistake of occasionally responding. That should be a lesson to everyone who might get a letter from a nut. Never respond. It only encourages them.

Anyway, I sent him this nutty letter today:

CONGRATULATIONS

Hey Warren,

I just read the Howard Stern Show summary. Jim Belushi was a guest. He said your show is going into its sixth season and is in syndication. Congratulations.

The show is not on right now in Bangkok, but when it is on, each episode is shown three times a week. I love it.

Jim Belushi starred in one of my all-time favorite movies. And that movie is (sound of trumpets), Real Men. It’s true. I love that movie. I brought a tape of it with me to Thailand.

It’s a secret agent spoof. The late John Ritter is excellent as the innocent caught up in an interplanetary struggle for world supremacy. Belushi is perfect as the infallible secret agent, always one step ahead of the opposition. He is infallible, that is, until he meets up with this dominatrix who teaches him the true meaning of discipline.

There is a hilarious scene in which Ritter is being seduced by a gorgeous lady who turns out to be Belushi’s “Dad” who has had “that operation.”

It occurred to me that material similar to the plot of the movie could be used in your current series as a dream sequence. You have all the characters who wouldn’t even have to change much to make it work. Wow! What a great idea. I could almost write it myself. I see a three-parter.

Seriously, I think it would work. I give you all of it for free. I hereby renounce any claim to it.

In a totally unrelated story.

This just in:

SCIENCE COMES TO AID OF THE STUPID AND/OR DRUNK

A team of scientists at the Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston have discovered an ink for use in tattoos that can be removed with one laser treatment.

Regards,

Walter Guest