Saturday, February 26, 2005


Yeah. That really happened some years ago. My crime? I said people shouldn’t be jailed just for using drugs. Ah… Sweet, sweet irony. Let me reflect on that for a moment. Ah…

But I still support him.

Years later when, against my “advice,” Laura Ingraham joined the right wing’s ill-advised, poorly thought-out, campaign against indecency in broadcasting, I told her that I would still support her after she appeared in Playboy. She was not grateful or amused. Wonder why?

These are two reasons why the liberals will eventually come back. The right will move farther and farther to the right, gaining in arrogance as a result of election victories and lose all contact with the American people.

Even now, many right wingers despise moderate Republicans more than anyone else in the world.

Take Rush Limbaugh. (No jokes.) He has nothing but contempt for moderates in his own party. He often challenges listeners to name one moderate who has contributed to the growth of America. “No,” he will tell you, “it is the extremist who have made this country what it is today!” (I paraphrase.)

The catch is, he reserves the right to define who is an extremist. Name anyone who has contributed and he will claim him as an extremist. Even Abe Lincoln, of all people, he claims was an extremist. Who, in the history of The United States, was more of a moderate than Abraham Lincoln? The left has no lock on wackiness in politics.

Here’s a better question. Name one fat guy who has contributed to the growth of America. Well I did some research and I found some, much to my surprise. In the history of America there have been 1,037 fat guys who have contributed in some way. But at the same time I found 20,532 moderates who have been helpful. That’s a better than 20 to 1 ratio in favor of the moderates.

Even so, that many fat guys helping out surprised me. Then I realized my error. I redid the research to find out how many men who were fat in childhood were of value to the country. I found 54. That was more like it but it still didn’t satisfy me.

I thought and thought and finally came up with the answer. How many men who were fat as kids and as an adult were childless, have contributed to the good of the country? None. According to my research, not one.

So there you have it. The next time Limbaugh asks, “How many moderates have contributed anything to America?” you can answer, “20,532,“ and cite me as a source. Then ask him “How many men who were fat in childhood and grew up childless have contributed anything?” There you’ve got him cause there haven’t been any.


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