THE NUDE BEACH

This piece is going to be mostly about penis size so be forewarned. I’ve been wondering if I should write it. I have very poor judgment in matters of decency. I asked my recent visitor, a friend from 60 years ago, what he thought. He told me to go ahead. His judgment on these matters being far superior to mine, here it is.

I’ve always been skittish about taking communal showers, speaking now of male only. In school, after gym class there was often a few athletic type/closet homos to pass going in and out of the shower. Their purpose was to harass and ogle while pretending to be more male. We could hear them shout from the locker room as smaller boys ran their gauntlet. Looking back, I think there was a danger of rape.

I took no more than six showers in all my time at school.

In the military, I tried to use the shower when it was unoccupied. Some times I found a nearby unit that had a lesser used shower or (best of all) actually had shower stalls.

I would walk a long way to use those facilities.

The better construction camps had shower stalls but many did not. So I was thrown in with the general population.

One of my problems was penis size. Evidently, I always had the smallest in the shower room. I say “evidently” because I am not one to check out everyone’s or anyone’s dick. In this matter I have to accept the testimony of the others in the shower. They declared me the winner of the small dick contest hands down.

This would result some jokes at my expense and, occasionally, a mild contempt. I will forego comments about this being the measure of a man.

Many years later, my wife and I were walking along the top of a coastal cliff in San Diego County, California. We came to a well traveled path down to the beach, about 300 feet below. We decided to climb down to the beach.

It turned out to be a nude beach.

My wife was one of the sexiest people I have known. She had a low boiling point. She was immediately turned on. So we decided to visit again the next week and bring a picnic and blanket.

So how did the “small dick champion” fare on a nude beach?

Seeing all those great looking naked women strutting around, there was no way I could keep it small. I felt a low-level eroticism all the time and every time I was on that beach. It gave me a low-level erection. The thing hung down as if it was flaccid but, in actuality, it was semi-erect.

For once, I checked out other guys. They were small, small, small. I was King of the Beach! I swear, women followed me around!

The moral of the story is: Penis size depends a lot on who you’re with.

While I’m on this subject let me say that I have the perfect penis size. I had a friend who complained to me once that his was so large he could never get it all in. I took his word on it. I understand what he meant. Women can only take so much. If mine were an eighth of an inch longer, it would be too long. If I occasionally thrust too hard it causes pain. So for most women, mine is the perfect length.

One more thing before I leave this delicate subject let me give you men a health tip. Many years ago I got a prostate infection. The doctor told me, “Use it or die.” I am now 75. People guess me to be 20 years younger. I have at least one orgasm a day. Maybe there is a connection.